NOTE: I’m a procrastinating perfectionist. Or at least that’s how I make myself feel better about not finishing things but strategizing in my mind how the task should be done “well”. I wrote this first blog entry New Year’s Eve as I watched the ball drop (exciting household, eh?). But I didn’t finish it, and only 4 months later I am trying to hop on board the Blog Train.
So, for years I’ve toyed with blogging. The closest I’ve ever gotten is a note or two on facebook and several attempts at picking out layouts on blogger.com then forgetting my sign in info and passwords. I was more concerned with the color scheme and picking from the various array of spiffy layouts (polka-dots or formal, modern or torn edge looking stuff) than what I’d actually blog about. ha. That’s so me.
I think because I’m not one to read others’ blogs that much I sort of can’t imagine how/why people would want to read what I would blog. But it’s a new world and when I look into my boys’ eyes I think that they’ll grow up in a world that blogged before they were born-- and me? Well, ancient mom grew up in a world where I remember getting a Commodore 64 in elementary school and that was THE STUFF. I printed pictures of snoopy out on a dot matrix printer with the kind of paper that you rip off those perforated dot-edge things - i remember popping Eddie Rabbit 8-tracks in our oldsmobile toronado and singing “i love a rainy night” with my mom in the car. Yes, i had a turntable in my room and sang “you light up my life” every time i set the needle down. I’ll tell them these things and they’ll roll their eyes and think i’m from another planet. Resisting blogging is like our grandparents referring to the rock music as “that noisy trash” - it’s tim
e for me to get with it I guess. (And Grandpa Wally, I wish you could have listened to Coldplay, I think you would have liked them alot.)
And so, I can already say that I know that I won’t be a consistent blogger...I’m a mom to 2 boys, a husband to a self-proclaimed “requires-much-attention” husband, a church planter, volunteer church staff member, musician, amateur humanitarian, house fixer-upper, PTO member, sometimes-helpful neighbor, bargain hunter, friend-who-doesn’t-answer-the-phone-much, yada yada. I’m not sitting in coffee shops quietly reflecting on deep thoughts on a daily basis...in fact, I’m not sure if there’s a time I AM alone in my week...and if I was, I think my eyes would be closed! Sometimes I type right here on the kitchen table while food is being flung at me for just a moment of sanity...a respite from the madness...a little outlet. I am sitting at such place this moment.
I do know one thing...had I sent out a Christmas letter (like so many of our good friends do!)...it would have been a book, not a page. So much is happening in our lives...so much has taken place in just this one year, so much is simmering in my heart...that sometimes I just don’t know where to start. Ah, WHERE TO START.... how ‘bout I just think about it ‘til April. ha.
That was the other problem for me with blogging. What to call the blog? I mean, once I remembered my password and found a layout, etc. - the name means more to me than anything. (You see nomenclature is my wanna-be hobby. I love it. I could have more children just to name them...but alas my husband is not on board with that idea.) If you want my list of baby names I’ll never get to use, call me. (unless, of course, God answers my prayers that someone will leave a baby on my doorstep, but that’s a whole other story)
Back to the blog-naming... In the middle of feeding my 1 year old lunch and my 4 year old bombarding me
with questions about Batman that I had no business answering, I became overwhelmed at how full (& crazy) my life is. It also hit me how there was nothing at that moment I’d rather be doing. Which, when I think back on all the “dreams” I have had at various times in my life, just kinds of tickles me. Then the perfect name, as well as a variation of a lyric from one of my favorite songs (not to mention one of my favorite musicians on the planet), just kind of came to mind...
“UNDER JEALOUS SKY”
The whole idea of life here on earth being so rich, full & meaningful that even the sun shining above is looking down in envy from “his jealous sky”. Well written, Mr. Sumner-- can I be your backup singer in the next life?
You see, I love the idea of quiet reflection and journaling...but I also don’t want the food-flinging or Batman litany of questions or Watershed craziness to stop. I love it. It’s my life. I don’t want to change it and most of all I don’t want to miss one minute of it by not being completely present & whole-hearted. Passionately, intentionally, completely living - and in what little blog-following I do, I just can’t seem to find many women blogging on anything to which I can truly relate. Then, a few years ago when I first moved to Charlotte, I stumbled upon Dooce.com. And, I was hooked. I don’t think I’ll touch her level of bloggy nirvana, but in 2009 I hope to maybe provoke a little thought in the realm of being a woman who loves God & life & people (no matter how small) ALOT. Also...an ordinary person who loses stuff (often), cusses (more than I should), sings a little too loud, loves Charles Shaw like a brother, has to limit my Target visits, is an informercial-addict, and loves to laugh hard.
I have no idea what i’ll blog about. A friend, Nikki Hogsed, told me that she mostly blogs about family and then prints out the blog each year as a scrapbook. As I’ve never scrapbooked one thing nor do I have one photo in a photo album of my children, I love this idea. I take the pictures, but I’m still strategizing on what to do with them. STRATEGERY I say.
Maybe this blog will be more about my kids and informing my fam about them...or maybe not. Maybe I’ll have a quarterly blog at the rate I’m going. Whatever the year holds, I think I’ve just broken the record for the longest blog entry ever written.
HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone- or should I say HAPPY EARTH DAY.
(To all my fellow-procrastinators. April’s not too late to get crack-a-lackin on your resolutions!)